Jokes

Remove the shower head and place a chicken bouillon cube in it, then put the head back on.

Fill someone's hair-dryer with baby powder.

Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.

Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.

Tourism is the next big thing. All countries are trying to attract more tourists. See the taglines. Thailand: Amazing Thailand India: Incredible India Malaysia: Truly Asia Australia: There’s nothing like Australia Question: Have you ever wondered what the Pakistan’s tourism tag line would be?? Answer: Have a blast. It may be your last……

God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.

Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

Q: What happens when you spin an asian man on a swivel chair? A: He gets disoriented!

My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.

How do they name Chinese baby's? They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.

When a white person delivers an asian baby. White person: "Congratulations he looks like your husband... mom... cousin... uncle... neighbor..."

How do you know if an Asian robbed you? Your homework is done and cats gone.

Yo mama so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Q: Why did the Asian cross the road? A: Because he had no car!

What the number one crime in asia? Identity theft.

Welcome to Asia’s newest billionare. His name is Cha Ching.

It has been announced that the Air Asia plane crashed because it ‘climbed too fast’. I think you’ll find it crashed because it went down too fast.

How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.

How do you know if you've walked into the wrong Chinese bookstore? It'll be called "Wong Fook Hing Book Store".

An Asian walks into a McDonald's and says, "I'll Have An Eggroll and Some Fry Rye." "I'm sorry sir we don't serve that. Would you like anything else?" "I have quarter pounder. And when would you like to pick that up...Hiroshima!"

My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over - and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"

Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".

Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.

Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Q: How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood? A: The Mexicans start buying car insurance.

Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!

So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

A javelin thrower called Vicky Found the grip of her javelin sticky. When it came to the throw She couldn't let go. Making judging the distance quite tricky.

Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!