Jokes

A blonde went to buy a pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches. Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

Why do blondes like lightning? "They think someone is taking their picture."

what would you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you,pull the pin and throw it back.what if a blonde throws a pin at you,run because the grenade is in her mouth.

Pakistani to his Wife: Our pathan watchman is casanova. He has f*ckd every woman in our buildng excpt one. Wife: It must be Lady on 4th floor. She is very religious.

Q: Why did three blondes jump off a building? A: They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.

What's the difference between a blonde and a construction worker? One lays bricks and the other lays pricks!

There was a blonde, two brunettes, and redhead in a 400 meter relay. The starter said, “On your mark, get set, go.” The blonde ran all the way around and said, “It was a 400 meter race, wasn't it?”

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? She was trying not to wake the sleeping tablets. -_-

Q: Why are there no brunette jokes? A: Because blondes would have to think them up.

A blonde told his friend: Some guy figured out my password. Now I need to rename my dog.

boy:Did it hurt when you fell from hevan? blonde: are you calling me judah?.... {blonde walks off} boy tells friends: first brunnetts ,then blacks, now blondes? lets go for reds.

How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.

Four blondes drive to a bar in their old pickup truck. Three sit in the cab and one sits in the bed of the truck. The three blondes go into the bar and order a round of shots. Almost an hour later, the fourth blonde finally joins them. "Where have you been?" they ask. Clearly frustrated, she responds, "Well, you all forgot to open the tail gate!"

A teacher asks a blonde girl to use "Handsome" in a sentence. She says, "When I'm suckin dick, and my jaw gets sore I use my handsome times."

A blond man and a brunette woman were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital, and she gave birth to two baby boys. The blond man turned to his wife and yelled, "All right, who's the other father?"

two blondes fall in a hole, and one of them says," it's dark in here isn't it?" and the other one says," i don't know, i can't see."

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back. "A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"

What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.

Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White? A: They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.

What is the difference between a blonde and a pothole? You swerve to miss a pothole!

Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer? A: She fell in the sink.

A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator. "Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies. "Okay, where do you live?" "In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies. "No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks frustratedly. "Duh! Big Red Truck!!"

One day two girls were trying out for the school cheerleading squad. One was a blonde and one was a brunette. After they both had tryouts, they went home to wait until the results were posted. The blonde goes to see if she made it that night. Once she found out she made it she got out her cell phone and called the brunette, but she didn't answer, so the blonde just went back home. The next day the brunette called the blonde to see if she wanted to go with her to look at their scores. The blonde says sure and meets the brunette at the school. The brunette beats the blonde to the school, so she goes ahead and looks at the scores to find out they both made it. When the blonde gets there, she finds her name on the list again. Then she says, "Yes! I made it again, I made it last night and I made it again today. I am on a roll!"

How come you don’t find stupid brunettes anywhere? Because they all painted themselves blond.

Q: What is long and hard to a blonde? A: Fourth grade.

Q: Why did the blonde climb on to the roof? A: Someone told her the drinks were on the house.

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!'' by korowal

A blonde is putting together a puzzle. She is very frustrated and asks her husband for help. "It's supposed to be a tiger!" she cries. "Honey," says her husband wearily, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

One day, a team of blondes and a brunette team took part in a fishing contest. They went to the Frozen Lake and installed from a two different perspectives. The brunettes were making fish one after another, but the blondes were unlucky. The blonde team gathered around in a circle and start a discussion about the problem and wanted to find an answer for it. After two hours they decided to send someone to spy on the other team, so they can find out what the brunettes were doing differently. The blonde spy goes and hides behind the bushes. After a while, breathless arrives at her team and screams with joy: "I’ve found it! I’ve found it! We gonna rip them off!" All the blondes, full of wonder asked her: "Spit it out, what do the brunettes do differently?" "Whole! They’re opening a whole in the ice!"