Jokes

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!” The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his profile.” Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!” The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it’s a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with? Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds” . . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer.” The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm . . . the suspect wears contact lenses.” The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer . . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.” He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?” “That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.

There are three blondes on an island. A genie says they can only have one wish t get themselfs off. The first says" I wish I was smart" so she turns into a red head and swims off the island. The second says " I wish I was smarter than her" so she turns into a brunette and swims away. The third one says " I wish I was smarter than both of them" so she turns into a man and walks on the bridge.

An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor’s office. “Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.” “I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.” “Great,” the blonde answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.” A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever. “Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!” “I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!” “That may be true,” answered the blonde wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to swallow the pill!

What do you call a blonde with a runny nose? Full

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel.

Q:Why did the blonde have a triangular coffin? A:Because as soon as her head hits a pillow she spreads her legs!

Q: Why do blondes need see through lunch boxes A: So they can tell if they're coming home or going to work.

Q: What is the definition of eternity? A: Four blondes in four cars at a four-way stop.

Q. Why is a blonde like a door knob? A. Because everybody gets a turn.

Someone tells a blonde, I like Eminem. The blonde says, I like Skittles. The person says, No the rapper. The blonde replies, Who cares about the Wrapper?

How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her.

What do you call a blonde with an IQ of 70? Gifted.

An idiot walking down the street spots a banana peel and sighs. "Here we go again!"

Q: Why don't blondes get coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.

A Blonde was at a gumball machine. She put a quarter in and kept getting a gumball out. The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball. She said, "Shut up! I'm WINNING!"

Teller: "Why did the blonde move to L.A.?" Blonde: "I don't know. Why?" Teller: "It was easier to spell." Blonde: "Easier than what?"

Why did the blonde woman shoot out all the mirrors in her home? Because when she looked out THOSE windows...the OTHER crazy blonde b*tch copied her every move.

Q: How does a blonde order a root beer? A: Extra large, hold the roots.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a vending machine? A: Nothing.....you get what you paid for.

A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car. "Did you see their face?" her friends asked when she came back inside. "No, but it's okay -- I got the license plate number!"

A blond gave birth to two twins and continously crying. A nurse asks her what's the problem. She replies,"I don't know with whom I have the second baby..."

The elderly nurse approached her co-workers in the break room: “I am mortified, disgusted and insulted. Someone else is going to have to give the patient in bed 429 his bath.” “What is the problem, Nurse Jackson?” asked another nurse. “Well, if you must know, he has a…a tattoo on his … his penis!” (Gasps are heard throughout the nurse’s break room.) “Yes, the tattoo ‘JSWAN’ is plainly visible … it is disgusting!” “I will bathe him, Nurse Jackson,” said the youngest nurse, a 24-year-old blonde. “You can give a bath to my female patient in room 422.” Hours later, the nurses are having their lunch in the break room, and Sheryl, the young nurse, smiles and says, “Nurse Jackson was wrong about the tattoo. It doesn’t say ‘JSWAN’, it says ‘JOE’S BAR AND GRILLE SASKATCHEWAN!’ “

Why does a blonde wear green lipstick? Because red means Stop.

Q. Why did the dum blond keep failing her driver's test? A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Blonde Asks Anant - Do U know the full-form of COLLEGE- Anant : I know , it's C-Come, O-On, L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each, G-Girl, E-Equally…… Thats why boys go to college regularly

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go camping for the weekend. The brunette brings food so they can eat, the red head brings water so they can drink and the blonde brings a car door, so if she gets hot she can roll down a window.

A blonde bought an a.m. radio and it took her a month to find out she could listen to it at night.

A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." "I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" "No," re plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"

2 blonde were on their way home after work, in a taxi. 1st: I smell sperm! 2nd: Sorry, I burped!