Jokes

Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.

Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract Anant. A: Their heels.

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde has figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ." The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

What did the blonde get on her IQ test? Saliva.

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?  A: After a dye job.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead went first. "I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!" "Okay," replied the genie. And off she went. Then the brunette went. "I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!" And off she went. The blonde started crying and said, "I wish my friends were back here!"

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head!

Why did the blonde return the puzzle? It was broken.

A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some dinner, and while she's deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up. The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt. "Gee, that's nice. What did you name the other one?"

Q: Why did the blonde run with the bike? A: It was going too fast for her to get on.

Did you hear about the blonde and the weight loss video? She threw it away because the people in the video weren't losing weight either!

Once there was a magical mirror. When you told the thruth it gave you things, but if you lie to it, it makes you vanish forever. One day three college girls went to the mirror. The red head said "I think I'm the smartest one." Then she got a diploma, scholarship, and got accepted into all the colleges in the world. The brunette then said "I think I'm the prettiest one." Then she got a Corvette, mansion, a good looking boyfriend , and a lot of money. Then the blonde said " I think...*poof*" Then she suddenly dissapearred forever

Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage? Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week. Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.

Q: Why do blondes smile when lightning flashes? A: Because they think their picture is being taken.

A blonde's neighbor's house was on fire so she called 911. The blonde told the operator, "My neighbor's house is on fire!" The operator asked, "Where are you?" The blonde answered, "At my house." The operator replied, "No, I'm asking how do we get there?" The blonde said, "In a firetruck, duh!"

Three blondes enter a bar. They are happy, dancing and singing. The barman asks them: What are you girls celebrating? We just finished a puzzle that took us tree months to finish. So? The barman asks. On the box wrought 2-4 years!

Why are Iranians so smart? Because none of them are blonde.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First.

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-and-sniff at the bottom of a pool.

"May I take your order?" the blonde waitress asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special sir," she replied, "we just tell them straight out that theyre going to die."

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals. She said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!" Her friend asked, "What's the capital of France?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."

A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy. The brunette replied, "I think I'll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?" The blonde said, "I think I'm gonna buy a new butt because my old one has an enormous crack in it."

Why did God give blondes pussys? So guys will talk to them at parties.

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, "What do you have in the bag?" The blonde replies: "I have chickens!" The man thinks for a moment and says, "If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?" The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, "Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"

One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.

One blonde was on one side of the river and there was another blonde on the other side of the river. One blonde yells to the other blonde, "How do you get to the other side?" and the other blonde yells back, "You are on the other side!"

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

want to know how to drown a blond? throw a scatch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

Did you hear about the blonde who didn't catch the joke? It went over her head!

Why was the blonde so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in 6 months? Because on the box it said 2-4 years.