desert-island Jokes
Browse jokes in this category.
Lemonade Perhaps?
If life is handing you melons... You might be dyslexic.
New York City
O'Leary walked twelve blocks in NYC without leaving the scene of the crime.
Chinese Name
How Long is a Chinese name
Hungry Clock
Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock? A: It went back four seconds.
Give Elsa a Balloon
Q. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A. Because she will Let It Go!
Do Elephants Matter?
Q. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? A. An irrelephant!
Senile
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
The Difference Between Outlaws and In-laws
Q: What's the difference between Outlaws and In-laws? A: Outlaws are wanted.
Bingo Game
Q: How do you clear out an Afghan bingo game? A: Call B52
Frog on your Back Window?
Q: How do you get a frog off the back window of your car? A: Use the rear defrogger.
How to Clean Ice off a Tall Building
Q: How do you clean ice off a tall buildings? A: With sky scrapers.
Car and Ship Delivery
Why is stuff delivered by a car called a shipment, and stuff delivered by a ship called a cargo?
Zebra
Q: What is a zebra? A: 26 sizes larger than "A" brA:
Scare a Gynecologist
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
PMS
Q: Why do they call it PMS? A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
My Old Car
Saw my old car yesterday. It is a Rolls Canarly. It rolls down one hill and canarly make up the the other.
Where do Dinosaurs go to Play?
Where do dinosaurs go to play? The Jurassic park!
PhD
After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.
Boomerangs
I'd like to buy a new boomerang. Also, I'd like to know how to throw the old one away.
How Old Are You?
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Night Watchman
A night watchman is a man who earns his living without doing a day's work.
Lend Me $20
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
Inside Old People
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the Heck happened!
Eskimo Cows
Q: What do you call Eskimo cows? A: Eskimoos.
Undercover Boss
I feel like I should be on the TV show Undercover Boss. I just found my wife with the boss!
Bucket List
A lot of people have a bucket list of 50 things they wanna do in there lifetime. I just have one, and that's to forget the 50 that I did!!!
Lamps for $200
Last week Walmart was asking $200 for the lamp I wanted, today they wanted $100. I told them I'd wait until it was worth $200 again!
Busy Body
Neighbor: Why do you allow your wife to drink so much? Me: Ever seen how she acts sober?
Fat Psychic
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!
Extra Weight
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.