desert-island Jokes
Browse jokes in this category.
Fruit Flies Like
Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana.
Anti-Picketing
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
No One Knew, Until
No one knew she had a dental implant, until it came out in conversation.
Good Ole Mississippi
Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi? Dumb Guy: Which one? The river or the state?
Always Test Them
Why did Gus drive his pickup truck over the side of the cliff? He wanted to test his new air brakes.
Sounds Like A Good Job
Slim walks into his local post office and notices a new sign on the wall: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY IN MONTANA "Gosh!" he says, "If only that job was in Texas, I'd take it!"
No, Not Barry Bonds
I don't know much about Barry Bonds ... I'm more familiar with bail bonds.
A Ringing In Your Ear
Did you ever have a constant ringing in your ear? I finally got the divorce.
Perfect Attendance
The only time I had perfect attendance ... was when I was in jail.
Overqualified Dancer
I tried out for belly dancing today... they said I was overqualified.
Cheetah's Dilema
Why can a Cheetah not hide? Because it's always spotted!
Line Dancing Addiction
Did you hear about the young lady who was addicted to line dancing? They put her in a two step program.
Bad Zoo
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it... it was a shih-tzu.
The Cold Politician
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
History Fact
What is Napoleon's favorite part of the chicken? Answer... The Boney-Part!
The Tired Bicycle
Q: Why do bicycles fall over? A: Because they're two-tired!
The Loudest Sport
Q: What is the loudest sport? A: Tennis, because everyone raises a racquet.
Paranoia Meet Delusional
Help me! The paranoid delusional people are after me!!!
Reverse Psychology
I'm writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don't buy it.
Dinosaur Test
What did the dinosaur get on its Maths test? Nothing, it got an Extinction!
Teenage Marriage Proposal
Q: How does a teenage schoolboy propose marriage? A: YOUR HAVING A WHAT!?!
Men and Their Singles Bars
Q: What is the one thing that most men at a singles bars have in common? A: They are all married.
Cat Cleaning Etiquette
Q: How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself? A: He's smoking a cigarette.
Irish Dancing
Q: How did Irish dancing get started? A: Too much Guinness and not enough restrooms!
5 out of 3
I think fractions are difficult. In fact, 5 out of 3 people struggle with them.
Never Tell Jokes About the Unemployed
I tell many jokes, but they are never about unemployed people. Those jokes just don't work.
Do You Smell Carrots?
One snowman asks another, "Do you smell carrots?"
Barbie
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
A Bartender
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
One Boat to Another
Q: What did one boat say to the other? A: Are you up for a little row-mance?