desert-island Jokes
Browse jokes in this category.
Direction of a Sneeze
In what direction does a sneeze travel? Atchoo!
Increasing the Odds
It has been proven that the chances of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
A Lot of Plethora
I wanted to thank everyone for defining the word "plethora" for me... It means a whole lot to me!
Life Lesson
Teach your kids about taxes... Eat 30% of their ice cream.
What Do Astronauts Get?
If athletes get athlete's foot.... Does that mean astronauts get mistletoe?
Country of Pink Cars
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car? A Pink Car-nation!
Living Longer
Do married people live longer than single people? Or does it just feel that way?
Suits In A Bag
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Time for A Name Change
I'm changing my name to "Everyday"... Because that's what the people I owe money to call me.
Department of Interiors
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why Are There 5?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
How Cold Is It?
If it's zero degrees outside today, and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow... Just how cold is it going to be?
Dry Toast
Why did the gardener always eat her toast dry? Because she saw the butter-fly!!
Round and Round
I don't believe in reincarnation... I didn't believe in it the last time, either.
Eyesight Check
Where did the kangaroo go to get its eyesight checked? To a hop-tician!
Optometrist Convention
Heard at an optometrist's convention... "The Eyes have it."
Wanted by the Bank
Did you hear about the guy who was wanted by a bank? He was in debt with them, so he was wanted, "Debtor Alive"!
Night Hands
The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn't getting enough sleep!
Trust Issues
I knew that Charlotte was cheating on me when she said that she was shopping with Jessie. Meanwhile, Jessie was right next to me having dinner. I was so hurt and disappointed.
Struck By Lightning
Did you hear about the guy who survived being struck by lightning? He was shocked!
Waking Up Grumpy
Sometimes I wake up grumpy... Other times I let him sleep.
Fish Money
Where do fish keep their money? "In the River Banks."
April Showers Bring May Flowers
Q: If April Showers bring May Flowers, What Do May Flowers Bring? A: Pilgrims.
Do You Know The Time
Do you know how long Grandfather Clocks have been around? Since the beginning of time...
Don't Blinker
A friend of mine asked me to go to the front of his car to see if his turn signal was working. I did and yelled out, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No..."
Twin Insults
"Did your identical twin ever call you UGLY?"
Laundering
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes? Come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Excited About Spring
How can you tell when the nursery employees are most excited about spring? When they wet their plants.
Out of Bed in the Morning
At my age, rolling out of bed in the morning is easy... Getting up off the floor is another story.
Got G-A-S?
What ten-letter word starts with G-A-S? Automobile!