desert-island Jokes
Browse jokes in this category.
Health or Wisdom
It is better to be healthy than wise... Being sick costs you money, but you can be dumb for free.
Keep A Firm Grasp
Keep a very firm grasp on reality... That way you can strangle it at any time.
Is It or Isn't It?
It is not an optical illusion... It just looks like one.
Win or Lose
It doesn't matter whether you win or lose... That is, until you lose!
Do Not Bend
A man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
Never Made A Mistake
I never made a mistake in my life! I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
I Like Work
I like work, it fascinates me... I can sit back and look at it for hours...
The Pencil Place
Where is the place pencils like to go for a vacation? Pencil - Vania!
Mind Over Matter
Marriage is mind over matter... If the husband doesn’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
High Cost of Living
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
Bad Job Market
You know the job market is really bad when you can't even get hired as a volunteer!
What's A Budget?
What's a budget? A 'Budget' is basically a method for going broke methodically.
Apathy Error
Apathy Error: Don't even bother striking any key.
One Way To Win An Argument
I wonder when Jim Henson got into an argument with his wife, would he say, "Talk to the hand!"?
Penny For Your Thoughts
A penny for your thoughts... Or $20 to act them out!
Two Rules to Success
Two rules to success in life... 1. Don't tell people everything you know.
One Nice Thing
The one nice thing about narcissists is that they don’t talk about other people!
Doing Good On Earth
We are here on earth to do good unto others... What the others are here for, I have no idea???
Hourglass Figure
I once had an hourglass figure... Unfortunately, the sands shifted.
Q & A
Question: What do you call a 'Handyman for Hire'? Answer: A 'Multi-purpose Tool'...
Costly Countdown
Time takes its toll... So please have exact change!
Rate of Speed
Whichever traffic lane you change to will always move slower than the one you left... This also applies to the lines you stand in as well.
Sponges in the Ocean
Sponges grow in the ocean . . . I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be if that didn’t happen?
Two Things A Child Will Share
There are only two things in the world that a child will willingly share... A communicable diseases and mom's age.
Talking Too Fast
The trouble with talking too fast... Is that you might say something you haven't thought of yet!
Punctuality Problem
"You have to work on this, you can't keep arriving late for work." "The trouble with getting to work on time, is that it makes the day so long."
How To Be A Genius
They say we learn from our mistakes. That's why I'm deliberately making as many as possible. Soon I'll be a genius!
Final Tasks
Why are there always more last minute details to attend to than there are actual last minutes???
Does Time Pass?
Does Time pass? Yes, it does. How else can you explain the credit card bills?
Death and Taxes
Death and taxes are inevitable... But at least death doesn't get worse every year!