desert-island Jokes
Browse jokes in this category.
Time Wounds
In a Podiatrist's window there was a sign: "Time Wounds All Heels!"
Fancy Plates
What do people in China call their fancy plates?
The Secret of Sincerity
The secret to success is sincerity... And once you learn to fake it, you've got it made!
Let's Hope They're Really Electricians
Sign on an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
Inventions
The Scots invented golf... Which might explain why they invented Scotch.
Tourist Information
The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, "Tell me about some of the people that were here last year."
American and English
What's the difference between an American student and an English student? "About 3,000 miles!"
Outside Layer
Some people say that I'm superficial... But that's just on the surface.
Like the Letter 'T'
Why is an island like the letter T? They're both in the middle of water!
Smelly Circumstances
Politicians and diapers... Both need to be changed for the same reason
Urban Lingo
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
It's Not the Pace
It's not the pace of life that concerns me.. It’s the sudden stop at the very end!
Two Wrights
Two wrongs don't make a right... But two Wrights did make an airplane!
Econometrics
What is Econometrics? It is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproven assumption to a foregone conclusion.
In Constant Fear
I threw a boomerang a few years ago... Now I live in constant fear.
What Is Junk?
What exactly is junk? Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
Burial in Boston
I’m going to be buried up in the Boston area when I die. My mother had plotted it for years.
Dracula's Bank
In which bank doers Dracula like to save money? In a blood bank!
Past Joke
I was going to post a time-traveling joke... But you guys didn't like it.
A Forum
What is a forum? It's two-um plus two-um.
Facial Conservation
What is the best way to save face? To keep the lower part shut!
A Sad Burger
How do you make a cheeseburger sad? Make it with blue cheese!
Upgrade
If you hear no evil and see no evil... Then call the TV repairman.
90% of the Time
If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
Memory
I had amnesia once... ... or maybe twice.
The Glass
Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Mother: Why didn’t you use a coaster?
A Spy Bull
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out!
Beautiful but Terrible
She has the face that could launch a thousand ships... And attitude that could sink them all!
Job Force
If everyone were employed... Where would unemployment officers be?
One Big Difference
There is one big difference between genius and stupidity... Genius has limits.