Quotes

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.

I think we're getting to the point where everyone's getting fat and everyone's getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people can't walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps.

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

I'm not a Republican.

I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.

I don't know that I appreciate things more because of how I grew up, but I am very realistic with what I expect out of people and what they expect out of me.

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

I'd never hurt another person.

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.