Jokes
Browse and search jokes.
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Diagonally Parked
"I feel like I'm diagonally parked... in a parallel universe."
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Photographic Memory
Everyone has a photographic memory... Some just still keep it on film... And they never develop it.
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Still Popular
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
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You Would Too
Why did the stop light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
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A Candle in A Suit of Armor
What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armor? A knight light.
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The Thirty Year War
How long did the Thirty Years War last? Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648. (You expected something else?)
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No Onion, No Cry
A lot of people cry when they cut onions... The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
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Telling Jokes to An Egg
Why shouldn't you tell jokes to an egg? Because it may crack up!
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Favorite Game
What is a frog's favorite game? Hop-scotch!!
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More Feathers
Which side of the chicken has more feathers? The outside!
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Chauffeur Problems
My relationship with my chauffeur just isn't going anywhere... It feels like he's always trying to drive me away.
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New Driving App
My sister bought this driving app recently... But it kept on crashing.
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Friday on Saturday
What did Robinson Crusoe do with Friday on Saturday night?
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What Do They Fight?
If firefighters fight fire... And crime-fighters fight crime... What do freedom fighters fight???
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Lonely At the Top
It is lonely at the top... But you do eat better!
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The State of Consciousness
What is “Consciousness"? That annoying time between naps.
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Feet Conditions
If athletes get athlete’s foot... Then do astronauts get mistletoe?
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Small Dog
Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? Someone told him to get a long little doggy.
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False Advertising
Seen on the door of a repair shop: WE CAN FIX ANYTHING! (Please knock on the door—the bell doesn’t work.)
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Always Win the Coin Toss
To win a coin toss every single time... Call out, "Heads I win, Tails you lose!"
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Favorite Key
What is an alien's favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar!
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Stress Suffering
I do not suffer from stress... I’m just a carrier.
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Go Fishing
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing? Book-Worms!!!
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Exiting
Exactly how do you get off a non-stop flight?
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Fractured Dictionary, Part II
Baloney \ba-lo’-ne\: Where some hemlines fall. Banquet \bang’-kwit\: Why the vocalist had no instrumentalists. Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage. Boomerang \boo’-me-rang\: What’s on top of the Ghost Cream Pie.
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Made of Meat
“If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?”
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The Alphabets
Why couldn't the sailor learn all the letters in the alphabet? Because he spent a lot of years at 'C'...
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Current Gene Pool
This gene pool we have now needs a new life guard!
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Faulty Safe
On a billboard ad for a safe company... "If your stuff is stolen, it’s not our vault!"
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Beauty Parlor
What is a Beauty Parlor? BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.