Jokes
Browse and search jokes.
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Time Wounds
In a Podiatrist's window there was a sign: "Time Wounds All Heels!"
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Fancy Plates
What do people in China call their fancy plates?
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The Secret of Sincerity
The secret to success is sincerity... And once you learn to fake it, you've got it made!
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Let's Hope They're Really Electricians
Sign on an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
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Inventions
The Scots invented golf... Which might explain why they invented Scotch.
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Tourist Information
The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, "Tell me about some of the people that were here last year."
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American and English
What's the difference between an American student and an English student? "About 3,000 miles!"
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Outside Layer
Some people say that I'm superficial... But that's just on the surface.
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Like the Letter 'T'
Why is an island like the letter T? They're both in the middle of water!
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Smelly Circumstances
Politicians and diapers... Both need to be changed for the same reason
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Urban Lingo
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
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It's Not the Pace
It's not the pace of life that concerns me.. It’s the sudden stop at the very end!
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Two Wrights
Two wrongs don't make a right... But two Wrights did make an airplane!
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Econometrics
What is Econometrics? It is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproven assumption to a foregone conclusion.
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In Constant Fear
I threw a boomerang a few years ago... Now I live in constant fear.
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What Is Junk?
What exactly is junk? Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
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Burial in Boston
I’m going to be buried up in the Boston area when I die. My mother had plotted it for years.
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Dracula's Bank
In which bank doers Dracula like to save money? In a blood bank!
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Past Joke
I was going to post a time-traveling joke... But you guys didn't like it.
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A Forum
What is a forum? It's two-um plus two-um.
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Facial Conservation
What is the best way to save face? To keep the lower part shut!
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A Sad Burger
How do you make a cheeseburger sad? Make it with blue cheese!
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Upgrade
If you hear no evil and see no evil... Then call the TV repairman.
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90% of the Time
If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
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Memory
I had amnesia once... ... or maybe twice.
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The Glass
Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Mother: Why didn’t you use a coaster?
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A Spy Bull
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out!
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Beautiful but Terrible
She has the face that could launch a thousand ships... And attitude that could sink them all!
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Job Force
If everyone were employed... Where would unemployment officers be?
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One Big Difference
There is one big difference between genius and stupidity... Genius has limits.