desert-island Jokes
Browse jokes in this category.
He Took A Hammer and Saw
Did you hear about the blind man who took a hammer and saw?
Brain Surgery 101
I would think you'd have to be open minded to be a brain surgeon...
Friendly Competition
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more!
Can You Spell Armageddon?
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
I Took My Meds
I took my pain pill... so why are you still here?
Maritime Mayhem
Anybody who's busy pulling on the oars hasn't got time to rock the boat.
Life Expenses
Living beyond your means takes twice as much money as it used to.
Phonetically Speaking
How come there on no F's in phonetics?
Monetary Sound
Money talks, but credit has an echo.
This Time Around
People seem to get nostalgic about a lot of things they weren't so crazy about the first time around.
He Did Drink A Lot
I had an uncle who drank a lot... When he died, he was cremated. He burned for two days.
The Cotton Allergy
I had an uncle who was allergic to cotton... He got some pills for the condition but couldn't get them out of the bottle.
An Assertive Response
Is there such a thing as a rhetorical answer?
Anger Therapy
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance... WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!!!
Convenience Stores
If convenience stores are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
Pause And Reflect
Just remember, every silver lining has a cloud.
Brain Cells Come
Brain cells come... And brain cells go.... But oh how those fat cells remain forever...
Funny Bone
My chiropractor is no comic, but he really cracks me up.
Dirty Job
Vacuum cleaner sales slogan: ITS A DIRTY JOB BUT SOMEONE HAS TO DO IT!
Vital Discrepancy
It can be fatal to live too long...
A Clear Conscience
What is a clear conscience? A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory!
Cloudy Experience
Is it possible to have deja vu and amnesia at the same time? (I feel like I've forgotten this before…)
Have No Fear
I'm not afraid of dying.... I just don't want to be there when it happens!
Word Power
If some people said what they thought, they'd be speechless.
The Banister of Life
As you slide down the Banister of Life, also pray that all the splinters are pointed the other way.
Mind Like Lightning
My mind works like lightning... One second there's a brilliant flash, and then it's gone!
All Your Problems Are Behind You
If all your problems are behind you... Then you might be a school bus driver!
Big Words
Don't you just hate it when people respond with BIG WORDS that make them sound so PERSPICACIOUS?
Hair Replacement
A man was going bald and told his friends he was going to get a rabbit tattooed on his head as it was a lot cheaper than an implant or a toupée. His friends asked how getting a rabbit tattooed on his head would help? The man replied, "Well, at least from a distance it will look like hare."
Universal Inquiry
If we find life on other planets, what would happen to the Miss Universe pageant?