desert-island Jokes
Browse jokes in this category.
Diagonally Parked
"I feel like I'm diagonally parked... in a parallel universe."
Photographic Memory
Everyone has a photographic memory... Some just still keep it on film... And they never develop it.
Still Popular
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
You Would Too
Why did the stop light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
A Candle in A Suit of Armor
What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armor? A knight light.
The Thirty Year War
How long did the Thirty Years War last? Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648. (You expected something else?)
No Onion, No Cry
A lot of people cry when they cut onions... The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
Telling Jokes to An Egg
Why shouldn't you tell jokes to an egg? Because it may crack up!
Favorite Game
What is a frog's favorite game? Hop-scotch!!
More Feathers
Which side of the chicken has more feathers? The outside!
Chauffeur Problems
My relationship with my chauffeur just isn't going anywhere... It feels like he's always trying to drive me away.
New Driving App
My sister bought this driving app recently... But it kept on crashing.
Friday on Saturday
What did Robinson Crusoe do with Friday on Saturday night?
What Do They Fight?
If firefighters fight fire... And crime-fighters fight crime... What do freedom fighters fight???
Lonely At the Top
It is lonely at the top... But you do eat better!
The State of Consciousness
What is “Consciousness"? That annoying time between naps.
Feet Conditions
If athletes get athlete’s foot... Then do astronauts get mistletoe?
Small Dog
Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? Someone told him to get a long little doggy.
False Advertising
Seen on the door of a repair shop: WE CAN FIX ANYTHING! (Please knock on the door—the bell doesn’t work.)
Always Win the Coin Toss
To win a coin toss every single time... Call out, "Heads I win, Tails you lose!"
Favorite Key
What is an alien's favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar!
Stress Suffering
I do not suffer from stress... I’m just a carrier.
Go Fishing
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing? Book-Worms!!!
Exiting
Exactly how do you get off a non-stop flight?
Fractured Dictionary, Part II
Baloney \ba-lo’-ne\: Where some hemlines fall. Banquet \bang’-kwit\: Why the vocalist had no instrumentalists. Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage. Boomerang \boo’-me-rang\: What’s on top of the Ghost Cream Pie.
Made of Meat
“If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?”
The Alphabets
Why couldn't the sailor learn all the letters in the alphabet? Because he spent a lot of years at 'C'...
Current Gene Pool
This gene pool we have now needs a new life guard!
Faulty Safe
On a billboard ad for a safe company... "If your stuff is stolen, it’s not our vault!"
Beauty Parlor
What is a Beauty Parlor? BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.