One day a man was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, and he really had to take a dump. He pulled out of the traffic lanes onto the shoulder, got out of his car and went over to a bush and took a crap in his hat. He couldn’t leave his hat there because he had his name inside the hatband. So he took his hat and on the way back to his car he saw a policeman pulling off onto the shoulder. He covered the hat with his hand. The police officer came over and asked him what was in the hat. The guy said, “It’s a hurt bird.” The police officer said, “Let me see the bird.” The man said, “I can’t if I take my hand away it will fly away.” The police officer repeated, “Let me see the bird.” The man said, “I can’t - if I take my hand away it will fly away.” They kept that up for four or five minutes, then the police officer got mad and asked him one more time: “Take your hand away and I will reach in really fast and the bird won’t fly away!” The guy said, “Alright.” And he slowly removed his hand. The police officer reached in and grabbed a handful of shit then asked the man, “What is this?” The man replied, “You just scared the shit out of the bird.”