I saw a girl walking down the street that I fcuked years ago, so I ran up behind her, covered her eyes and whispered, “Guess who… I took your virginity… “She said, “Dad?” “Dad?” I replied, staggering back in disgust. “You lost your virginity to your dad?” She turned round and said, “Oh… It’s you… I told you that you were my first because I was ashamed of what happened with my…” “I don’t want to hear it,” I interrupted. “Fcuk you, and your dad.” As I walked off, I turned round and shouted, “Tell him Uncle Tony won’t be coming round this Christmas.”