GROANER OF THE WEEK The couple is in the throes of a divorce settlement. They must decide about custody, visitation and child support for their only son. He: “My son belongs with ME! You can have weekend visitation and see him a full month in the summer.” She: “The courts almost always side with the mother when it comes to custody. You aren’t a fit parent, you just sit around and play chess all day! Chess! Chess! Chess!” She: “And knowing you, you would prefer to live in Georgia rather than Florida. How will you handle that?” He: “It’s too early in the divorce proceedings to talk about travel and relocation.” She: “You are treating our son like a pawn! Where would you move?” He: “Pawn to e4, like I always do.”