My old Granddad was mugged in the park last week, punched in the face and his wallet stolen. The police arrived and took a description of the attacker alongside other details. “How much cash was in your wallet, sir?” asked the police officer. “£800,” said Granddad. “OK, sir,” said the police officer as he was leaving, “we’ll let you know if we find out anything.” Granddad, I said, where did you get 800 pounds ? You don’t have that kind of money. I know, said Granddad, but if they catch the cunt it’s my word against his.