I confess… Here are some clues that tell you I’m from Alabama: • I think my farts are my best jokes. • My dog gags when he sees me eat. • I finally cut the grass on the front lawn and found a car up on cinder blocks. • My family tree has just one long trunk with no branches. • Mobile Alabama had an incest contest and I entered my older sister. • My beard attracts birds. • I remove my toothpick only for family weddings and group pictures. • I think of “Fast food” as hitting a possum at 80 mph.