Definitions... MARRIAGE: It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either. CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power! DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage. CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read. SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight! OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes. ATOM BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions. DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. MISER: A person who lives poor so that he/she can die rich. CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught. BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and then shakes your confidence later. DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and then kills you by his bills.