Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist! Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? A: Because his wife died! Q: Why did the snowman smile? A: Because the snow-blower was coming. Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an alter boy. Q: What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough. Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fcuk ? A: When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut? A: Tug-of-whore. Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? A: A Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Q: What’s slimy cold long and smells like pork? A: Kermit the frogs finger Q: Q: What do priests and McDonald’s have in common? A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed? A: Because their plugged into a genius! Q: Three words to ruin a man’s ego…? A: “Is it in?” Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep sh1t. Q: Why don’t black people go on cruises? A: They already fell for that trick once. Q: What has got two legs and bleeds? A: Half a dog! Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Mever bin laid on Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? A: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork. Q: What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.? A: E.T. eventually went home! Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up. Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: A lickalotopis Q: A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? A: Dating children. Q: What did One gay sperm say to another? A: How do we find an egg in all of this sh1t? Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet? A: Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off? Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is? A: Ate something Q:If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have? A:Three feet of my cock up your ass. Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A: A virgin. Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls? A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!