Dear Diary. I don't know why people say prison is so bad! Today I met my cell mate he calls himself Private Woody so he must have been in the army. He left rose petals and a Barry White CD on my bed so he's obviously into nature and soul music. And later on he's invited me to meet Ben Dover in the showers later to play Philes Crack so he must be into DIY. Yours sincerely Kenya Swallow. Xo.