After 12 pints down the pub, I jumped in the car. For two miles I was swerving all over the road with the engine revving before passing out. I eventually woke up in a ditch shocked & dazed with a traffic cop looking down at me in my seat. “Had a drink have we sir?” Winked the copper knowingly. “I can’t deny I’d had a few.” I replied. Looking over at my wrecked car he tutted & gave me this advice: Get a taxi next time, rather than asking the wife to pick you up