Memos to Shane

Meet Shane, the Greatest Walmart Employee... 1. Shane, Quit offering extended Warranties on the fried chicken----Management 2. Shane, stop asking "Is that your final answer?" and offering to let them phone a friend after each order----Management 3. Shane, Quit putting price tags on the Deli equipment and trying to sell them to customers---Management 4. Shane, stop implying Walmart keeps the "Good Stuff" in the back----Management 5. Shane, I don't know what "Swinecraft" is but ham cannot be sold as a building material---Management 6. Shane, THE DELI IS NOT an appropriate setting to practice your ventriloquism, please stop making puppets out of the paper bags-----Management 7. Shane, STOP putting "Stoner Approved" seals on the fried chicken----Management 8. Shane, STOP putting out samples labeled as "Mystery Meats"----Management 9. Shane, STOP putting "Some assembly required" stickers on the 8-piece chickens----Management 10. Shane, any FREE samples you offer must come from the deli department, not from electronics------ Management