A sign in a Shoe Repair Store: - We will heel you, We will save your sole, We will even dye for you. At an Optometrist's Office: - If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. On a Plumber's truck: - We repair what your husband fixed. - Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber. On an Electrician's truck: - Let us remove your shorts. At a Car Dealership: - The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment. Outside a Muffler Shop: - No appointment necessary. We hear you coming. In a Veterinarian's waiting room: - Be back in 5 minutes. Sit... Stay... At the Electric Company: - We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted. In the front yard of a Funeral Home: - Drive carefully. We'll wait. In a Chicago Radiator Shop: - Best place in town to take a leak. Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck: - Caution... this truck is full of Political Promises.