-- The spouse who snores the loudest always falls asleep first. -- The product you are most embarrassed to buy must be price-checked over the intercom. -- The heavier the load and the farther you must carry it, the more your nose itches. --The original will be found when a replacement is bought. -- When you have a deadline, the printer always runs out of toner. -- When you have to get up early, a power surge knocks out the alarm clock in the night. -- Technical instructions are in three languages: Spanish, French and Geek. -- On the verge of completing a major spreadsheet, you will mysteriously perform an "illegal operation" and erase your work.