No, really, I'm OK to drive. -- I'm wasted, but I'm too embarrassed to have anybody see who I'm taking home with me. "I'm not used to these darts." -- I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I'm this bombed. "You get this one, next round is on me." -- One of us is going to pass out before it's time for another round. "I've had like 10 beers already." -- I've only had three beers, but I need an excuse to behave this way. "I'm out of here. I have to work in the morning." -- I owe $100 to the guy who just walked in the door and I've been avoiding him since football season. "What do you have on tap?" -- What's cheap?