There once was a plumber named Lee Who was plumbing a girl by the sea. Said she, “Please stop plumbing, I think someone’s coming!” Said he, “Yes I know, love, it’s me.” -------------- There was a young girl from Devizes Who had breasts of different sizes. One was so small, Really nothing at all, The other was huge, it won prizes. -------------- A worried young man from Kabul Founds lots of red circles on his tool. Said the doctor, a cynic, “Get out of my clinic; Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!” -------------- A mathematician named Hall Has a hexahedronical ball. And the cube of its weight Times his pecker’s, plus eight Is his phone number, give him a call. --------------- There was an old woman from Australia Who painted her arse like a dahlia. The colors were fine, the art devine, The aroma, alas, was a failure. --------------- There once was a man from Kent Whose cock was so long it was bent. To stay out of trouble, He stuck it in double, And instead of coming, he went. --------------- There once was a woman from Reno Who lost all her money at keno. She laid on her back, And opened her crack, And now she owns the casino. --------------- There was this lady from Niger, Who smiled as she rode on a tiger. They returned from the ride, With the lady inside And the smile on the face of the tiger.