On my way home from work a while back I stopped at my local store to buy a large bag of Pedigree dog food for a few of the stray dogs in my area. A nosey woman who lives in my complex was in the line behind me and asked if I had a dog, since she dint recall me having one. So I decided to have a little fun and on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Pedigree Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 20 Kgs before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Pedigree Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her “No, I lifted my leg to Pi$$ on someones car and the guy beat the Sh*t out of me”. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard but owner of the store asked me never to come back there again.