I HAVE A LITTLE SATNAV IT SITS THERE IN MY CAR A SATNAV IS A DRIVERS FRIEND IT TELLS YOU WHERE YOU ARE. I HAVE A LITTLE SATNAV I’VE HAD IT ALL MY LIFE IT’S BETTER THAN THE NORMAL ONES MY SATNAV IS MY WIFE. IT GIVES ME FULL INSTRUCTIONS ESPECIALLY HOW TO DRIVE “IT’S THIRTY MILES AN HOUR”,  IT SAYS YOU’RE DOING THIRTY FIVE. IT TELLS ME WHEN TO STOP AND START AND WHEN TO USE THE BRAKE AND TELLS ME THAT IT’S NEVER, EVER SAFE TO OVERTAKE. IT TELLS ME WHEN A LIGHT IS RED AND WHEN IT GOES TO GREEN IT SEEMS TO KNOW INSTINCTIVELY JUST WHEN TO INTERVENE. IT LISTS THE VEHICLES JUST IN FRONT AND ALL THOSE TO THE REAR AND TAKING THIS INTO ACCOUNT IT SPECIFIES MY GEAR. I’M SURE NO OTHER DRIVER HAS SO HELPFUL A DEVICE FOR WHEN WE LEAVE AND LOCK THE CAR IT STILL GIVES IT’S ADVICE. IT FILLS ME UP WITH COUNSELLING EACH JOURNEY’S PRETTY FRAUGHT SO WHY DON’T I EXCHANGE IT AND GET A QUIETER SORT? AH WELL. YOU SEE, IT CLEANS THE HOUSE MAKES SURE I’M PROPERLY FED IT WASHES ALL MY SHIRTS AND THINGS AND KEEPS ME WARM IN BED. DESPITE ALL THESE ADVANTAGES AND MY TENDENCY TO SCOFF I ONLY WISH THAT NOW AND THEN I COULD TURN THE BUGGER OFF !