1. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen. …. 2. The Salvation Army declines your mattress. … 3. The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape. … 4. Birds are attracted to your beard. … 5. Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest. … 6. Your school fight song was “Dueling Banjos” … 7. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument. … 8. Your coffee table used to be a cable spool. … 9. You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table. … 10. There are more than five McDonald’s bags in your car. … Attribution: Jeff Foxworthy