1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant. 3. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank. 4. Long distance companies don't call you to switch. 5. You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes. 6. Your rob Peter... and then rob Paul. 7. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change. 8. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment. 9. Your bologna has no first name. 10. You give blood everyday... just for the orange juice.