I walk into a hardware store… … … Me: “Any two-watt bulbs?” … … … Clerk: “For what?” … … Me: “That’ll do. I’ll take two.” … … Clerk: “Two what?” … …. Me: “I thought you didn’t have any. ” … … Clerk: “Any what?” … … Me: “Yes please.” … … Me: (sigh) “Never mind, just give me four candles.”