Quotes

I always say that even though my dad was alive during Woodstock, he was just not invited. He just seemed like he was from a different generation.

I'm working harder now than ever before. I couldn't turn down the BBC job because I've never been offered the opportunity of killing three or four people on screen before!

I had a financial page to write in the Mail on Sunday where I'd give tips on shares. I worked there for two and a half years. Nothing compares to the burst of energy felt on a newsroom floor when a big story breaks.

I'd like to be a geneticist to be honest, but there are limits to what I can do now. For my dream to come true I'd have to be 20 years old again, heading off to a blue chip university.

Every step and every movement of the multitude, even in what are termed enlightened ages, are made with equal blindness to the future; and nations stumble upon establishments, which are indeed the result of human action, but not the execution of any human design.

Like the winds that we come we know not whence and blow whither soever they list, the forces of society are derived from an obscure and distant origin. They arise before the date of philosophy, from the instincts, not the speculations of men.

The history of mankind is confined within a limited period, and from every quarter brings an intimation that human affairs have had a beginning.

The artist finds, that the more he can confine his attention to a particular part of any work, his productions are the more perfect, and grow under his hands in the greater quantities.

In every commercial state, notwithstanding any pretension to equal rights, the exaltation of a few must depress the many.

Man, in his animal capacity, is qualified to subsist in every climate.

I think we all carry the seeds of our own destruction. You really have to be aware that just because something is good, it doesn't mean it's not going to trigger a self-destructive impulse.

I took a Ferrari under the 405 freeway. We took rent-a-cars through the desert. That was fun.

If you're in California, and it's raining, stay home because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.

I remember for my 18th birthday, I was going to get a tattoo, and I made the mistake of thinking I was a man and telling my father, and he was like, 'Oh yeah? You better tattoo a new address on your arm, because you're not living here!' And that was the end of that discussion.

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell - I'll never know why!

My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.

I do stupid stuff like that: I'll call my wife from the road, send her pictures of glaciers.

I don't have a car in Manhattan because you have to choose between a car and an apartment. It's that expensive.

In California, the lines on the road are just a suggestion. They're in the left lane with the left indicator on, so naturally it's time to turn right! Are you kidding me? In your Prius? I know, you're saving the Earth by trying to kill the people!

When I walked in to read with Edie Falco, it was nice, because I auditioned in New York, and it was very quick. You walk in, there's Edie, the producers, the director, and a camera. I read three scenes, and it was done.

I'm surprised how hot it gets in the Moab Desert. I knew it got hot, but I didn't think it got, like, Mercury-hot.

Terrorists convince thousands of people to kill themselves in the name of God. I can't convince two of my friends to help me move.

Anytime I get to help the firefighters, I will. I'm real lucky to be in a position to help.

It fits my ADD, so that's good. Because I really can't focus on anything for too long. And 'Top Gear's really the easiest thing to do because I'm with my pals. It's like coming home with my friends. We're having so much fun making the show.

When I meet people after stand-up shows, they'll bring their cars.