Jokes

Math teacher : what are you two talking about? Student : math Math teacher : what part in math? What time it is to leave

This is why I hate smart ass teachers Me: Can I use the bathroom Teacher: I don't know can you? Me: BITCH, I WILL SHIT ON YOUR DESK

Kid: (really has too pee) Kid: can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: no Kid: I WILL PISS ON YOUR DESK

My teacher asked me the first day of school, "Are you chewing?" I said, "No, Chewing is probably one these exchange students, my name is Michael."

Johnny: Teacher would you punish me for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not Johnny: oh good because I didn't do my homework. #Awesome Comback

Emo guy: How many times did you give the Head Teacher a blowjob to move up a grade? Smart guy: How many times did you stared at your mom's pubes to make you realise that you want to be an emo?

Teacher: Since you were talking can you solve this problem? Me: The problem is you and the answer/solution is for you to stay out of my busines. Teacher : Where is your math homework? Me: It commited suicide, it had too many problems.

*When I'm eating chips and talking* Teacher: Would you like to share that with the class? Me: B*tch, are you out of your damn mind. These are for me and only me.

Student: "would you ever punish me for something I didn't do?" Teacher: "of course not." Student: "good cause, I didn't do my homework..."

Teacher: Okay Derp, Come up to the board and solve this problem to find x Me: -Circles x- FOUND IT

teacher: were is your homework ? me: its at home. teacher: and whats it doing there ? me: well obviously having more fun than me...

(Sittin in class and you pull out your phone) Teacher- Young man give me your phone!! Me- Bitch, when u start payin the damn bills on my phonecthen you can tell me what to do wit it. Ohk? Bye.

Student:Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher:What are you gonna do over there? Student: Slay the f*cking dragon, b*tch, what else?!

A kid gave his teacher a drawing of a cow eating grass. Teacher: What is this ? Kid: its a drawing of a cow eating grass. Teacher: ( looks at the paper. ) where's the grass ? Kid: the cow ate all of it. Teacher: ( looks at the paper again. ) then, where's the cow? Kid: it left because there's no more grass. **WIN**

Student:can I go to the bathroom? Teacher:I don't know can you? Student: can I go to the bathroom?!? Teacher: I don't know can you Student: f*ck it I'm leaving!

Teacher: why do I hear talking? Student: because you got ears you dumb ass b*tch

Teacher: Have you completed you"re homework? Student: No, have you marked our test papers? Teacher: Well, no but.. Student: Shit happens..

So I was in class this one time. The teacher was just sitting there looking at me. Me: Take a picture they last longer. Teacher: What did you say to me? Me: Well I know I didn't studder, but wait I just remembered last time you picked up a camera it broke. Teacher: Are you talking back to me? Me: Well if I didn't that would just be plain f*cking rude.

Teacher: Your behaviour is unacceptable. You: Your face is unacceptable.

Text message: Girl: Mom i got detention today. Mom: WHAT WHY! Girl: Well the teacher pointed a ruler at me and said at the end of this ruler is an idiot...... Mom: And....... Girl: I asked the teacher what end she was refering to the ruler Mom: Ahh thats my girl.

Teacher: why do I hear talking? Me: because you have ears! Class: OOOOHHHHH!!!!!

An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

ME:WHATUP GAYLORD Guy:how am i gay if i f*cked your mom? Classandteacher:OHHHHH SHIT me: how is that possible if you dont have a dick Classandteacher:DANMMMMMMMMM OHHHHH Guy:......

Teacher-Did u finish your homework assignment? Student- Did u grade my math test all of us took yesterday? Teacher- Well I have other students test to grade and..... Student-Shit happens

Teacher: Where the hell is your math homework?! Me: it committed suicide, had too many problems.

boy: could i go to the restroom teacher: i don't know can you boy: i don't know that's why i asked

Teacher: Why were you absent? Student: I was sick. Teacher: You're lying aren't you? Student: No, I was sick of you and this stupid school. #THAT'S HOW YOU TELL'EM

Teacher: Ok class, whats your favorite element? Me: THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE! *karate chops her to the floor*

Teacher: Tell your class why you are 15 minutes late. Me: Someone Told me to go to Hell. Me: Couldn't find it at first. Me: Now I'm here

Teacher: John You need to turn in that paper that your missing John: why I already have a bad grade! Teacher: hey watch the back talk! John: you watch your front talk!