Jokes

Teacher:You failed your test. Me:You failed to educate me.

teacher: kid do you have your homework kid: don't have the homework teacher: tell the class why kid:theres something called having a life i don't think you'd understand b*tch

Teacher: I am beautiful. What tense is this? Me: Past tense obviously.

teacher: are you talking back to me? Me: yes wouldn't it be rude if I didn't?

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

TEACHER: "You got 0 on your 1000 word essay." ME: "Why?" TEACHER: "You submitted a picture." ME: "A pictures worth a 1000 words right?"

Student #1: *disturbing the class by looking for something on the floor* Student #2: Ha, he's looking for his dignity! Class: *laughs* -Now a moment of silence- Teacher: Did you find it?

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: I'm late? Teacher: You missed an entire period. Student: Are you telling me I'm pregnant?

girl: you are a b*tch teacher: I would love to insult you but human nature already did class: OOOHHHH

Yo' Mama is so dirty, her teachers gave her A's just for not raising her hand.

My teacher taught me a phrase to combat bullying "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" So I threw a dictionary at them.

Teacher- " What do you call a person who talks about things no one cares about? " You- " A teacher. "

A student asked his teacher how old she was. She promptly said, "39 and holding." Then the student asked, "Well, then, how old would you be if you let go?"

Teacher: tells student to sit down now while he walking Student: If I sit down now i will be sitting on the damn floor

Teacher: Were is your homework? Me: didn't do it. Teacher: You're so unreliable! Me: At least it's more reliable than your dads condom.

Teacher: How many times do I have to tell you, do your homework. Student: How many times do I have to tell you "I don't give a f*ck"

Teacher: since you were talking can you solve the problem Kid: the problem is you ,the solution is to mind your own business

He reminds me of the kid in fifth grade who reminded the teacher she forgot to give the homework.

Teacher: Since your one talking can you solve a problem? Student: The problem is you, and the solution is mind your own business.

Teacher: WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE YOU WERE YOUR FIRST DAY IN SCHOOL! Like you were in Kindergarten! Student: You really want me to be like I was on my first day? Teacher: YES! Student: Alright then. *The next day* Teacher: what's 4x3 divided by the square root of 7. Student: FISH! Class: *Laughs* Teacher: Get over here! *In the corner of the class room* Teacher: We agreed you'd be like you were on your first day! Student: Yeah, and the answer for everything was fish. Teacher: I hate you. Student: I hate you too Teacher: You said that on your first day too? Student: Nope, I said "I love you" to all my teachers Teacher: Then why haven't you said that to me!? Student: Because I didn't lie on the first day of school either.

Teacher: why are you whispering? Move to the other side of the room. Student: Your choice. I either sit here and whisper or move over there and scream.

Teacher: As you can see the legs, when squared equals the hypotenuse squared otherwise know as the Pythagorean Theorem Douche Student: Hey sir, I got a theorem for you Teacher:What is it? Douche Student: Your mom's legs squared equals my dick squared *Class Laughs* Teacher: Is it really that small? *Class becomes silent*

Teacher - "The test is very easy." Me - "Sure it is bitch, you already know the answers."

Teacher: Ok class, can anyone tell me what PEMDAS means? Student: "Please Excuse My Dope Ass Swag!!!!"

Teacher: Did you do your homework? Me: Did you grade my test? Teacher: Not yet... Me: Shit happens.

Teacher: "Do you want to share that with the class?" Me: "No that's why I whispered it."

Teacher: Can you explain why you failed the test? Me: Can you explain me why you fail to educate?

Teacher: How about one of you decides to teach one day? It's impossible teaching you idiots! Me: *stands up and walks to the front* Me: Class Dismissed.

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?

Teacher - "Get out a piece of paper." Me - "Look at me now." Teacher - "Excuse me?" Me - "I'm getting paper."